New Release by Shashi Tharoor

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You are living your fate, what is not meant to be will never be yours

The hopeful posts, the motivations, the stories and everything, especially those videos are all crap. No successful person will ever tell you their real secret, what they really are within and also how much of their success is really attributed to their own talent and hard work. They are mostly lucky people born blessed and hence they happen to make right choices at the right time and take right decisions. Its true that they had the grit to make it but also there was some invisible power, god or fate helping them set the example that they have. No Steve Jobs or Bill Gates will ever share with you that their original dream was not to be a tech guy. Of course not ! Maybe they wanted to be the best football player or musician or guitarist. Everyone only highlights what works for them. When something starts working for us, we forget or bury deep inside us our innermost unfulfilled dreams and desires because destiny takes over everything in our life and makes us reach where we are supposed to and do what we are supposed to do. No one has ever escaped destiny. Fate is written by the gods and unknown to you. Working hard, competing in the never ending rat race of being like everyone else so that you are liked by everyone else is a myth. No matter how much you try your life will not be the same like someone you are stalking on facebook right now! So stop stalking and start living. Its like you know certain things very early on, the shy kid who wants to stay home is different from the one who likes to always be out, some popular kids in school who want to participate in everything to gain appreciation from the teachers will definitely turn out to be good employees and those less than mediocre, slow learners or trouble makers will sit at the back bench doing their own things always; those kids will turn out to be politicians and businessmen. The mediocre kids who fall in neither group and mostly go unnoticed will definitely live unnoticed like that their entire life struggling to deal with life. There are very few cases where people shape into opposite of what they were as kids when they grow up, but it depends on their environment, what they feel from inside and thats how their outlook towards life shapes. We don't even get to choose our friends, they are sent to us to learn the lessons we are supposed to learn. Who has ever got the friend they are trying to make ? people base friendship on mutual likings and needs so obviously you are not even choosing your friends, you are supposed to have those friends at that particular point in life. Again, there is life partner choice which again is not really a choice you make. You both happen to be at that stage where you feel like getting married, same goes for affair as well. The point here is there is no point in feeling guilty about your decisions, there is no need for feeling guilty of setbacks and achieving less than what you expected to achieve at the age you think you are supposed to achieve. Because no matter how hard you try, you will only get those things that are meant for you and those achievements that you are meant to make. All you can do is put your best efforts so that you are not disappointed with yourself for not trying. This does not mean you will remain where you are forever, but it means you don't know where life might take you. So always be humble and nice to everyone you meet along your way, do not judge anyone on basis of their current situation because one never knows when the tables would turn and their situation might get much better than yours. Wasting time in dreaming is therefore useless. One must set goals and keep working towards them. But after every defeat do ask yourself often and quickly whether you feel you are on the right path, because there is no point extending your stay at wrong place with wrong people. Maybe their time of being in your life is over and you are unnecessarily dragging it. So anyway, no matter what you do, those who are meant to leave will leave when their time in your life is up! No matter how hard you work, you are going to lose that job or fail in that business in which you were only meant to be for a certain time. Take experiences and cherish them. If you find lots of changes happening in your life very quickly, do not panic, this means you are supposed to grow better and grow faster to take on bigger roles that are coming. The time you will spend in repenting and crying over these things will be the time you wasted over things not meant for you and you will delay getting to the place where everything will be what is supposed to be. As a society we must not judge people on their journey to feel good about ours. We must not belittle anyone. But truth is we do and we will continue doing it till it happens to us and we feel the pain. Even if the person is born very lucky and with all good fortune, they may lose it because of their disregard and disrespect towards others. To live a blessed life not much is needed except being a great soul. Your good soul, your good deeds might even turn your ill luck into a great fortune and your habit of putting others down, discouraging them can delay further those good things that might be coming your way. There has to be abundant love in your heart to attract love, abundant generosity to attract prosperity, abundant peace to live peacefully, abundant respect to get respect, abundant understanding to be understood. If you lack empathy, if you lack love, if you lack generosity to give and appreciate, you will not be loved, appreciated, understood or cared for. Fate cannot be changed. Your role will be what is meant to be but at what scale is your decision. Like a shoemaker will be a shoemaker, now whether he makes those shoes at his home or manufactures them is his qualities and attitude towards life and everyone. Similarly a dancer will be a dancer, again whether in clubs or movies dpends on their karma. Improve your karma. IT really pays to be nice.

How to start afresh and get rid of all the past pain

Past is known to us. It is predictable and hence all good and bad experiences of the past are more comfortable to accept. There is no suspense, it has already happened, all the turn of events, all the situations and emotions are something we have already lived. The pain you cling on to starts defining you in every aspect of your life. Hence you must let go. Forgiving is the easy part. Even forgetting is in some cases where people are out of sight and out of your mind. Unless you forget the pain, you are not able to move on, enjoy the moment, live in the moment and be the best version of yourself. Some people keep getting worst with time and they get used to living with the pain and their pain starts controlling them and everything they do, every relationship that they form. Here are some tis to move on forever and undergo a complete better transformation and turn everything around in your life, it will take time but it is important: -Cut out the informal communication with old friends- your old friends are the people who know you from your past and how you were in the past. The conversations are likely to tilt you back to the person you were. Though the people might me good but still they will remind you of the person you were and no wonder we all behave the same with old peopele. -Stay away from your family - this is the most difficult thing to do. Your family is the only people that love you. But you have not progressed so far living with them. This might be because they are used to seeing you as a disappointment. It is not their fault, it is human nature to form opinions and judgements and stick by them. Also all your decisions specially the major ones are determined and largely influenced by your family. You might not have enough means to move out, or you may be holding on to all the reasons to stay with your family as you are afraid to explore the unknown, or be on your own. But this will be the best thing you must do for yourself. Cut out on relatives- mostly relatives have the tendency to judge, compare, try to evoke jealousy or make you feel bad and you will keep feeling the need to 'show them' you are better. To avoid all this avoid contact with relatives as much as possible unless you make yourself and your life the way you want. One must go out on the world on their own and be completely on their own to gauge their own strengths and weaknesses and choose their own path without any burden of comparisons and expectations. Cutting off gets important when life gets you to the point of do or die in terms of proving yourself. Also in case of many people who are seen as innocent and losers due to their inability to prove themselves or their past failures are very obvious and highlighted, are naturally not those whom friends and relatives want to contact. So already you are isolated in some sense and have the complete freedom to be whatever you want to be. Maybe you are still attached to your parents and siblings and thus are unable to be something else that you want. More often than not there are some memories attached to you being a certain type of a person and each time you interact with your family the person that you are expected to be you become that person naturally. No matter even if you show progress, achieve or do anything, your family will drag you to their comfort zone of seeing you how you were in order to feel comfortable. But growth starts outside everyone's comfort zone. You need to accept the fact that your family will be just fine with or without you and most importantly you will be fine with or without them. People say 'you can't run away from the past' but you should. When life takes you down to the point where your identity is lost you need to move anywhere else to regain confidence. We are the product of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it. Learning to stay detached and embracing solitude is important for transformation. Yes, being detached does not mean physically staying away, it means being mentally alone, more with yourself and your goals. However when you are with people your conversation tends to again move to the same things, it is easy to move back in to the comfort zone of who everyone thinks you are. Solitude is the furnace for transformation. The following guidelines are a must try when you are living alone on order to transform completely and this process will take you at least six months: Focus only on yourself and how you breathe Refrain from contacting any family member or old friend Stay away from social media and delete your social media accounts Concentrate only on your work, growth and development Whoever calls ask about them and refrain from talking about yourself Do not share your day with anyone, learn to deal with everything yourself Accept what has happened and your current situation Check on how you use your day and what makes you happy Keep learning more and more skills Read as many books as possible- most important Again we are all products of our past. So whatever hurts us the most is what we need to focus on the most. Different people have different pain points. Some pains you can get rid off by only working on them. Some people feel bad about their looks, they can improve their aura and enhance their appeal, some are made to feel bad about their achievements, they need to learn to achieve and win, some are ignored due to their financial status, some due to their intellect, general knowledge, mindset. First assess whether the people you want to prove yourself to are the ones you look up to? if not, then ponder what is hurting you about the comments? is it your own low self esteem that a person can sense hence take liberty to use it against you ? is it because those around you are jealous of the way you are and hence bring out points or defects in you to make you feel bad? if they are jealous then why are you feeling bad? is it your inner most unknown hidden insecurity that they are channelizing on? if that is the case, do you consider these people as your friends? Sometimes we spend a lot of time with people who put their insecurities inside us. Hence always be careful of the kind of people you interact with. Second thing is again, are you internally competitive and always in a race with everyone? or are you trying to mistake goodness for letting people walk over you? you may be taught all good bookish values about being considerate, happy for others, forgiving, smiling, but most of the world is not like that and when you behave saint-like in a devil-like world, your life is going to turn upside down. People will doubt your intentions and find you different. You need to blend in the culture of the place where you want to make yourself a success. For example, if you are in an office, your co-workers are competing against each other, wanting to move ahead of others, you will be a pushover if you decide todo your own thing. Like you can't escape office politics you are a part of every place you are in. Solitude does not mean renouncing the world and living like a monk. It means taking space and time to focus on your own goals much more than anything else. Everything begins at home, change is always first happening on your personal front. so when personally you are detached, you are detached even at workplace from everyone else and thus you are only focused on your own work. If you are self assured as a person, you are self assured even at work place. After all every work you do is impacted by the kind of a person you are as a person. If as a person you are a doormat, how likely are your chances to be a leader in office? exactly! if personally you are feeling less competent , it will reflect in every interaction you make with the outside world. If you feel you are ugly because you might be dark skinned or too pale colored and maybe one of your parent has this complex and have pin pointed your skin color or maybe your spouse has, then this complex would more likely stay inside you. It is no one's fault but now decision is yours as to how you feel inside about yourself. Even if everything is going great, your internal self is the one experiencing things. Your outlook towards the world matters. It matters whether you are focusing on the crisis or the opportunity, your own talents or shortcomings, faith or hopelessness. It defines your actions as well. So staying away builds most people. Because you need to accept that no matter what you achieve those in the past who are used to not acknowledging you will not. There are examples where people have changed their perception towards someone but it happens only after showing them repeated results. Remember: actions speak louder than words ever will. Stay focused on getting better each time and highlight the positive, highlight the results each time you achieve and till the time you make a very remarkable progress, hide your failures. Even if you prefer to stay with your loved ones, highlight the high points, edit out the low ones, this is the key to success and happiness. Let people associate you with happiness and good energy. Allow them to associate you with success. After all it is not even the achievements but how you see yourself and how you allow others to see you that matters.

Never spend time with small vision people

I write this post for advantage of young adults and teenagers. Your teens are your most impressionable years. You would most likely try to be liked and looked up to. And how you think about yourself will be majorly dictated by kind of people that surround you. Toxic friend circle will start limiting you with their opinions and criticisms as soon as they find you better than them. Before you realize this you would be failing a lot of times and finally get rid of them. This post is to avoid you from stooping low and thinking small or limiting yourself only because someone else does not believe in you. Even as young adult as you risk experiences, expand your horizons, learn new skills, you would likely have many ideas but you need to filter whom you share your ideas, fears, failures and achievements with. People who are risk averse would discourage you due to their own fears or limitations. People who don't have a vision will mock you when you decide to change your field or try something new as they will be happily comfortable to be forever in their comfort zone and with slow progress. Chances are you will not be able to explore your full potential as these kind of people and their comments or disapproval will hurt you thus making you doubt whether you would ever be able to make it. It is okay to be alone than being with the wrong. Always remember this. Also you would definitely be wanting to utilize more time towards your goals and dreams. You need to understand when to distance yourself otherwise you will wait till the damage is done. Because it is more often that during your struggling phase you encounter wrong kind of toxic people. Even if you have positive mindset during your hard times, there are many who will not be able to digest your positivism and wonder where you are getting strength from. Detoxifying is something I keep writing but only because I know that most of us are not able to reach our full potential because we are surrounded by wrong people. Here are the few behavior traits wrong kind of people display and you need to pick up the cue: They have never taken any risk or never tried anything new in their life: Such kind of people will be secretly envious of you, they would want to do all that you are doing but will lack courage. Hence they will start criticizing things you do or even if they seem supportive, they will be jealous from within and make you feel inferior when your efforts do not yield immediate results so that they feel better about sticking to their comfort zone. Will never appreciate you or find it very difficult to say anything good to you: I had one such friend. She always said negative things about me in name of feedback about the business I started but I understood this very late that she could not do anything much about her career as she was stuck up in the same company for years as she had housing loan emi to pay. Whenever I posted anything, she would hardly appreciate, she never even bought one thing from my store and finally when I would up the business, she was the happiest. In fact she started bragging about her office meetings and how busy she was working to fulfill someone else's dreams. Start feeling superior after a salary hike: Salaries grow very slow. A little more salary, or working a couple of years more as an employee than others does not make you the ceo. Besides there are other factors like assets, bank balance, funds, investment decisions, immediate responsibilities, spending habits etc that determine your net worth. So never encourage this immaturity in your life. If a person can think so small,basically this means there are a lot more lessons that are left for them to learn and either they will take a decade to reach the maturity that you have or even worst stay like that forever. So do not fall for that. A friend of mine once told me " if i have 50 lacs in my bank account, why would I be your friend" so low right? This means the person is extremely superficial and immature. They will not value friendship, they will value whether they can show you off or not, generally they are dealing with their own self esteem issues and not to mention very poor communication skills; otherwise who talks like this? that too without proper knowledge and assessment. People are constantly showing off their class as they speak, pay attention. After all such a person does not know life comes with ups and downs, they do not know that their salary is not something that is ever going to make them rich, yes they might have a comfortable life forever in their comfort zone. Always are commenting on looks and criticizing you for looks all the time: Imagine! this is the only thing they can think about ! looks ! have pity on them but leave them. That girl is only going to attack your self esteem by constantly reminding you that your nose is not perfect, your tummy is round, your face cut is not good, your eyes are too small, etc. Do you need this? she will keep criticizing you till the time you finally give in and accept a low self esteem. There is no other topic this girl has literally ! there is nothing else she is passionate about. There is nothing to her character. She will remain like this till the time some situation hits her. So leave her there and you move forward. Will be reluctant to accept your growth: The more experiences you get, the more you grow and finally you are ahead of them. They used to relish laughing at you, putting you down and today you are a lot more than they can imagine. Because you explored. Understand that more often than not its not about you. It is about them lagging behind and hence it is emotionally difficult for them to accept your growth. But you keep a distance because otherwise you will suffer their ego and jealousy. No matter who the person is, how long you know them since, people come and go in life. Keep them at one hand distance. Remember the thing that these people forget: Time is the most powerful thing. Time is everything. I remember that how people used to think I am not working because I am home I am jobless and have ample time. Because I do not have designation at a company I am a loser.Today because of covid those very people are working from home. Time is the most powerful thing. Plus even personally I have learnt to value myself even more. I have learnt that I am a lot more than any designation or job title people may give or take from me. I am beautiful and smart in my own way. Most importantly I have learnt that I should never seek approval from anyone ever because if I do I subject myself to their own insecurities. I have ignored those naysayers, explored, learnt new skills and finally walked towards the kind of life I always wanted. Whenever you feel the need to 'prove a point' to anyone, that someone controls you for that time. So let go of that person. Obviously the above listed kind of personalities are never the right people for you and will not be of any use to you otherwise as well. So ignore them. Your circle of top five people you regularly interact with should consist of positive uplifting people.

Why were you born and how to live your purpose?

Not every sperm that is released into the womb becomes a life. But you are born. There is a reason you are born under certain circumstances to your parents. There is a reason for all the people that come and go in your life. Each situation has a purpose to direct you towards your life's path. This is the reason why people do different things and end up having different identities. You draw inspiration from those around you but make something of your own. Painful separations happen in friendships and relationships when you are afraid to let go. But some people have to leave you because unless they do, a new chapter cannot begin in your life. You take wrong decisions as you more often get influenced by your peers rather than trying to find out what you truly are meant to be and all things that happen like failure are stepping stones towards directing you to the path you are supposed to take. In a money driven society, you are naturally inclined to follow the person who is making more money and try to imitate their success. But you are not able to. Your peers will often make you feel lacking when you fail because they want to feel better about their path. But truth is you cannot feel happy about your journey by discrediting or thinking lowly about someone else's. You cannot find true satisfaction only by looking at the fact that your life is better than others. But surely you will be satisfied if you find out your own unique interests and qualities and pursue them with full dedication. What is your purpose then and how will you pursue it without a doubt or distraction? How will you know it and what will make you sure and motivated to do it? You need to introspect & think hard about each event that has happened. Each impressionable event that really affected you either positively or negatively. Each situation that made you think. Did anyone's remark made you feel bad? did someone's any quality impress you? what were the major events that changed your life? You must analyse them. Every question you have comes with an answer you already have within you. You spend so much time of your day doing things you do not care about , why not take time out to be sure and crisp clear that what you will do in your entire day is really something you will keep doing even on the last day of your life? Most satisfying experiences in life do not come easy. But you must realize that you mean something, your are born for a reason and why not know the reason and keep working happily towards it rather than situations making you unwillingly or unknowingly do things you are doing? Living consciously and mindfully makes you experience life differently. Just getting up ad getting by the day is not getting you anywhere. 'Settling down' is the most fearful notion we all believe in because life only settles down on the day you die. Life is happening everyday and you are contributing everyday. Only those who realize they are worthy of making a major contribution end up doing it. Otherwise even when life directs you unknowingly to your purpose, you are able to make only a minor contribution being unaware. Your contribution is to the world and universe. Everything you do every minute matters. Then, does this mean your contribution comes only in form of the work you do? No. Your contribution comes majorly in form of your intention of doing things. Your intention decides your ambition. It is what you learn in management lesson: you need to have a vision. Vision becomes a mission and mission becomes goals and goals finally develop into actions. There is no limit to your vision, but you decide your limit to visualize. Again the question you will ask is then in that case i decide my fate right? No you do not. Think about it. Why do you fail then? Why do you leave certain things midway? Sometimes it so happens that you are fully prepared yet unable to get or keep the opportunity you take. Are you telling me that you have pursued and got the exact kind of friends you wanted or relationships you wanted? No! Law of attraction and the secret also works when you are manifesting something your heart truly wants. If you are manifesting spending your weekend in the most luxurious hotel but your heart and mind keeps picturizing you spending time in a jungle house; even if you force yourself to look at the ambience and views and pictures what experience do you think you will end up having? precisely. This is the reason why it is futile to think about the life others are living. There is a way to know your purpose. The earlier you know the better. The late success stories are nothing but of those people who paid attention to their heart and dared to be themselves much later in their life. Also success does not always mean being better than someone. It means finding the kind of life you truly want to live and living it. It means living everyday as if it was the last day of your life. It means not having any regrets everyday. Here are the few pointers you can rely on: a. Note down each activity you did today and write down what you felt about the activity b. Write down your goals for this year and write how you feel about those goals positive/negative, what was the reason you made those goals? are the goals made under influence or is it what you really desire? c. There is always one biggest desire each person has. Write that desire down. That desire will get you closer to your purpose in life. Follow that strong desire you have. Sometimes there are people unknowingly standing in the way of your desire and you must not feel guilty of doing what your heart truly and so longingly wants. d. Picture your last day and you will die tomorrow. What are your priorities that day? You would definitely tell your family and friends you love them, you will surely want to be happy with zero regret. Maybe you would like to talk to someone you did not speak to for years. Call that person today. Maybe you want to get married or spend time with your kids or pets on the last day, you will know. And today do you have those kids or a pet? If not start working on it. Get that pet, start family planning. If you would to die in arms of your spouse then go and find a spouse. Whatever feels good to you while you picture your last day, you must do that. I am sure there will be some who would love to die on duty like while serving the nation, feeding the dogs, doing charity or in temple of their favorite god. There would be some who would like to die in sleep in a comfortable bed of their large homes while some who would like to die in a war. e. Our personal and professional life is a myth. It is just one life and with duties. You can choose your duties. Picture your life. The clothes you are wearing in your dream life, the house that you are living in and the kind of equation that you have with everyone around. If there is a conflict in your visualization, you are not moving in the direction of your purpose.Forget what is right or wrong, possible or not, forget your current situation. Only visualize. Write down or keep pictures. But it is important that what you visualize is making your heart feel peaceful and not in conflict. You should not think about the roadblocks while visualizing. Just see what your heart wants you to see. Unless you get this clarity, you are not going anywhere. Your heart and soul knows everything. It is only a matter of looking within. There is always a reason of why certain events happen only to you. It is a wake up call of walking the wrong path. There is a reason people come and go. They are there to show you what you need to focus on. You only need to pay attention to the lessons life is teaching you all the time. You need to keep getting clarity until you are absolutely sure that you are doing what you are meant to dedicate your life to. A dedicated life is a satisfactory life. I hope you find your purpose. I hope you live fully.

Find the inner lying cause of all your troubles

You are what bothers you. You are your worry! You spend so much time in correcting yourselves since childhood that you are naturally inclined to focus on problem areas and find problem areas. So much so that most of your thoughts during the day are a compilation of issues rather than events. You keep saying things like : I don't want to fail etc. The universe keeps hearing it as : I want to fail. There was a girl lets call her Rushika. She was disciplined, studious, performed all her duties well. But she did not have many friends. In fact most people did not like her vibe. She calls herself an introvert. But what if I tell you there is no such thing as introvert and extrovert? It is all situational. In some situations we are introverts, in some we are extroverts. Now lets focus on Rushika; what put me off about her attitude was that she was too self critical. She defined herself in the most negative manner and it therefore reflected in all her interactions. She called herself all negative things like : I am ugly, I can't speak publicly, I am creating mistakes at work etc. All the time I had to assure her that is not the case and things are not as bad. But I could sense how inferior she felt. It is a school girl syndrome as I call it. It means that those girls who are ignored in school remain that ignored person for the rest of their life no matter what they do. So whether you are working out, dressing up, learning any activity, working in office; you are constantly seeking approval and want to get that attention you saw those popular girls get. You fail to understand that life moves on and different stages of your life require a different version of you. Like in school people generally paid attention to those who are pompous, beautiful, successful,who carry a certain 'áttitude'; but in your 30s people appreciate those who are understanding, appreciative of them, mature, loving and selfless. Since she could not change her mindset, she could not find a boyfriend, best friend or a husband. She started loathing men and hating them. She was still attracted to superfluous qualities of people whom she hardly knew and did not appreciate those who were there in her life. This is also because she was a late bloomer and she missed out on most fun things that were to be done in school and college. This happens to most of you. You get stuck up at that time in life you did not have when you wanted it. There is nothing wrong in that because you all are living our life in different time zones. But problem is when you start getting negative about the things that you did not get. You start comparing your life to others, you criticize your friends for doing things you are afraid of or having things you don't have, you ensure that people with you feel inferior to you. You get jealous when your friends are being happy or enjoying their life. This is wrong. A person with positive mindset will be positively competitive but also happy for others. If you have right mindset, you will try to know yourself and find what really connects with you. At the same time you will find it easy to appreciate, be there, encourage others without any ill feeling in your heart. Because you will be mature enough to know that appreciating others, complementing them, wishing good for them does not take away anything good from you. This is the gist of a right mindset. Once you develop the right mindset you will see opportunity in every adversity and will continue to be happy regardless of the situation and as we all know happiness is infectious. You will live stress free and will start experiencing life differently. Always have right mindset and purpose behind your every action. Right mindset will help you push through worst times and also with right mindset you will be able to enjoy every minute of your good time as a wonderful memory. But if you are jealous at your heart and build hatred towards things you don't have, those things will further run away from you.

3 most important rules to retain positivism in life forever

The biggest goal everyone must have in life is to be an eternal positive thinker. An eternal positive thinker sees good in every situation and benefits out of it. Also staying happy and positive all the time is surely possible. But it takes tremendous efforts specially in this world which is driven by competition. Competing with others brings in negativity whereas competing with self brings all required development. We often meet lot of people and each person we meet has an impact on us. But one needs to carefully choose who will influence them. Secret to daily positivism and bliss is carefully choosing our thoughts as thoughts become words and words become actions and actions are our karma which decides our fate. One needs to carefully follow the below 3 rules to retain their positive mindset because like motivation positivism is required to be chosen daily. A positive person will be naturally motivated. Do everything with a higher purpose : Higher purpose means your contribution towards betterment. You choose only those actions which will have positive impact on your environment and surroundings. Say no to all those other acts that might not have positive impact. Be it your job or relationships or hobbies always look at how the action you are doing is going to impact you positively and help you in your further development. You need to consciously link your activities of the day to something good for at least 21 days so that you automatically subconsciously are doing the same.The better your thoughts, the better your mindset and outlook towards life and you will have more chances to live a full life. Choose whom you listen to : We are average of 5 people we listen to. This cant be emphasized more. What you are feeding your mind matters a lot. If you are choosing to listen to someone who likes to only talk about their and your shortcomings and faults, you are likely to get used to blaming life and circumstances for everything, Specially it is during your challenging times that you meet the kind of people that are your comfort zone as thinking wrong is easy during those times. If you find it difficult to find those 5 people who will influence you positively, make yourself one person, Bhagvat Gita the second one,good books your third companion, your role model should be the fourth person and the fifth can be your parents because of their intention to see you do extremely well in life. Last but not the least is morning habit and routine building: The purpose of life is a life of purpose. How you start your day matters and matters the most. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? who s the first person you talk to ? what is the first thing you eat? Do you meditate in morning for your focus? do you exercise in morning for staying active throughout the day? These things matter. They build you. Everyone must have a routine that is only theirs for their own reasons. It must be followed religiously. Waking up with the sun and spending sometime in nature is but the most effective way to build a positive mindset in the morning. These are the three very simple but extremely difficult things to follow on a day to day basis as we have number of things happening during the day. But if the mindset is right and heart is happy, we are able to tackle all situations in the best effective way possible. So this is the not just an important thing but the only important thing for a good life. After all we remember only those days where we "created a life" not just "made a living". May god bless you with a positive thought process, constructive actions, loving heart and devoted soul towards higher better purpose.

Why do we need to find our life's purpose?

Life is not a straight line because even in an ECG if it shows a straight line, it means we are dead. Bhagvat Gita also tells us that we must live fully with purity, strength, discipline, honestly, kindness and integrity in order to find purpose of our life. Purpose makes our life meaningful. It is that thing that wants us to wake up in the morning with full energy and enthusiasm. Even Steve Jobs encourages in his interview that one must keep looking till they have found their life's purpose. Purpose is the bigger picture that we work towards, a bigger goal that makes us feel satisfied about the activities we did in the entire day. We all know we are the happiest when we serve others. So in that case our dharma is to serve others in a way that makes us feel happy, satisfied and motivated everyday. Living life to just fulfill material goals and blindly just doing things to show people around you , ýour worth'is not the real dharma. Though it seems like a difficult task to find purpose, we can start by finding meaning in every activity we do everyday. For example: purpose of cooking food is to satisfy hunger of the family, purpose of cleaning is to make the environment worth living in, purpose of working out is for being healthy and making good use of energy of the body, reading or learning something new is to expand the mind's capacity. Similarly each of us can find purpose in the work we do. In fact, every activity that we do in a day should be dedicated for fulfillment of dharma that is our life's purpose. Dharma is your duty as a daughter/son, sister/brother, spouse, parent,employee,colleague, friend. We have to see whether we are doing the right thing in each case. Whatever we do will impact us and those around us. We do not need to do something very big for the entire planet. All we need to do is fulfill our daily duties with credibility and accountability. This itself is the most difficult task. We might falter, but we have to stay on it and correct ourselves along the way. We will be most satisfied when we work consciously towards things. Today we are consumed with self thoughts. Things, experiences, relationships as per what you want for yourself. That is the wrong way of looking at things. Your life will feel good and purposeful only when you start living for others. Because of you are just walking and running your individual journey, you will end up alone. Humans basically formed a society to think about each other and be together. There is no happiness without family. There is no completeness without you having your working towards your every relationship. When you think about others, they will think about you. Like in an organisation, activities are aligned towards the organisation's goals and your dharma is to do all those activities that will help in achieving those goals, likewise fulfilling your parent's wishes, being there for your siblings, supporting your friends, love & dedication towards your spouse &children is all your dharma. If you falter on any of these aspects that spot will be vacant. Of course there are situations where the other person will not be interested in their role with you, in that case letting them go with your best wishes is your dharma.

How writing a diary can help you get a clarity on decisions

Writing is something everyone must do. It helps to bring out creativity, helps in making decisions and gives clarity to your thought process. I highly advocate that everyone must maintain a diary. It need not be pen and paper. It could be pages, word document or anything you could type as typing has become easier than writing considering the technological progress! There always comes a point in life when you are confused, doubtful about where your life should go and what decision you will take. This is the time which will define the direction your life takes. Most defining changes in life because of the decisions made during the most confusing moments. Hence write. Note down your thought process. Write down your options and pros and cons. Weigh them. Keep reading what you have written. Also it is utmost important that you write down how you feel about the decision in detail. This will always put you in the right direction. At least you will not be stuck up and confused! Your feelings are also your memories. All good and bad feelings are a witness that you have lived your life. Sometimes it is good to look back and read to assess where you stand today and how far you have come. After all you are the center of your life. Everything you do is based on how you feel about a situation and what you do about it. Memories are not just pictures, they are also feelings. When you are writing your daily diary it is a collection of events that happened in your life. Your diary is a witness of your life. You will be able to make sense of things when you look back but, to look back you must have some reference. We meet so many people daily. But we do not have time to analyse their impact on our life and how it changes us. Diary will be a reminder to take good things out of each meeting. Because you will want your future self to love reading what your present self is writing. Thus your diary will keep you positive and hopeful. So start today. Who knows you will come to know your life's purpose through your diary.

Perception v/s Reality

We all want to be seen as winners no matter what. We hide our sorrows, shortcomings, mistakes from others because we fear that we will be seen in a negative light if we are to expose them. Rightly so because people judge us and we judge people. Perception matters. How you are seen matters. Because how you are seen becomes a part of you. It becomes a way you relate to yourself and others relate to you. What you practice is what you become. If you practice being seen as a winner, winning will matter. If you are comfortable with being where you are, people judge you anyway and you need to either up your game or be prepared to be ignored. This is the harsh reality of life. We try to hide the truth, brush it under carpet and live in denial of the reality that is staring at us. We try to turn a blind eye to our mistakes and prefer to live in the delusion that everything is going fine. But this very attitude suddenly makes everything seem fine. Things start getting better. Reality is always harsh. If we are just being real , we are being pessimistic. When you are being real, you are bringing forward painful issues and discussions that might cause conflict of interest. You are now giving your time and attention to things which might or might not get better. You are not having dreams and hopes as reality boges you down. It makes you pessimistic and you give up easily. We all know to make unrealistic dreams come true we all need to have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and unrealistic belief that our dream is real. So work on your perception of yourself. Reality will follow. The greatest achievers take us by surprise as they end up achieving what we always thought was impossible. They shut out all the opinions around them and focus on doing what they have already visualised for themselves. I guess this is what is the best formula for success.

How to train your mind to live in the present

We are so much trained since childhood for work-reward structure and alaso too much into planning that we forget to live and be in the present moment fully. We are not actually enjoying the journey. We are too much worried about the destination. We need to train our minds after setting the plan to stop thinking about it and enjoy the process more. We are since school worried more about teh marks and not about knowledge. Even till date after knowing that marks or results hardly determine our destiny. Excessive worrying causes anxiety, even performance is hampered because we are thinking about the end result and not enjoying the moment. Only failures and setbacks can teach so much which a smooth life cannot. Because failure makes us reflect and introspect. To make any decisions, solve problems we need to be completely in the present and focus on things. Following are the ways in which you can bring back your mind to present again and again till it is trained enough to naturally be in present: Meditate- Meditation allows mind to be free and blank and thus practicing it daily will train mind slowly to live with awareness Mindful breathing - When you find your mind wandering away with thoughts bring it back by dtarting to focus on your breathing. Also deep breathing reduces anxiety Snap fingers: Clap hands or snap fingers when you find your mind wandering away again and again till mind is focused on present. Practice taking one day at a time- Easier said than done! When you do little of the activity you immediately start wandering off with happiness or excitement imagining future results. While it is important to visualize winning , too much of visualisation leaves you with a very little time to get the actual task done. So set aside time for visualising. But when it comes to doing, be fully in the activity. Do physical task- Bringing your mind back to present in mental activity like reading or listening might be difficult but its easy in physical activity like cleaning, exercise and also cooking. So if you still want to focus on studying practice by taking down notes and while listening as well take notes, write down doubts, ask questions. Easier said again! This is a daily task. Routine. And you will surely build razor sharp focus and be able to achieve whatever you set your mind on. It will take atleast 45 days of continously monitoring your mind focus to get where you want on a mental focus level. Remember it all starts from within. Any transformation cna be achieved of you set your mind to it. But setting your mind to it is a task.

Life , death and destiny

Unbelievable and it is so precious like a treasure The human heart and mind can never measure, It is a quest, a thirst that refuses to quench No matter how much you get how much you drench; The craving and aspiration never stops Even after seeing so much the hunger still tops; Whether you get all you want or are deprived of all you ever wanted You still get up every day and work towards the desires due to which your heart is haunted; There is failure after failure defeat after defeat Yet one lives to see himself achieve that one feat; Old and grey and tired and exhausted soul Still it holds on to dear life even if there is no one to console; We see souls live and we see them go Attachment is one sin we all have committed you know; For every soul that takes birth has to fulfill its purpose and leave When time is to go the soul still clings on and refuses to relive; What is life and what is death when the soul never really dies It lives till eternity only it changes the body and again death is lies; Sometimes I sit back and it really makes me wonder The old souls have done everything yet why don’t they surrender; There could be something so important life has to offer But what is it is unknown and remains a puzzle proper; We take life for granted when young and don’t value things that are important We neglect our health/relationships/happiness/friendships and chase material goals like they are urgent; Then when we are old we look back and want to live one last time Till death comes to us when we become a past time; We refuse to grow old knowing this is a natural process Maybe because we had some young dreams in heart that were left unattended and were oppressed; We live in denial and go through quarter life/midlife crisis Is it a new phenomenon or was it since ages like this; Whether young/not so young/middle aged or old We all are kids at heart and this is the truth untold; People want to live because they want to win They want to fulfill those dreams and desires that were left unseen; Still we understand ourselves and keep judging the other Thinking we are more important and have a chance till age makes us bitter; So each soul is selfish and having their best interest in mind Detachment is a way to live and still we should be kind; One must move forward and first keep their interest to the fore Once you set your life in place then you can give back for sure; There should be no guilt or pain for keeping yourself above all If you sideline yourself you will not be happy after all; So walk towards your desires and walk towards your goals Life your life fully and reach potential that you have manifold; If you fail yourself you will fail everyone anyway So why not do things for yourself and make it happen for you in every way; When family is the only light you see in a dark tunnel Care for it and be there but don’t be there forever not living your potential and going down the success funnel; If you don’t live your life when you had a chance to live fully You will regret the time you grow old and to blame there will be no ally; Those who love you will give you wings to fly away and fulfill your destiny Those who don’t will cut your wings limit you under their scrutiny;’ So think for yourself and not for others unless you really have to Otherwise you will keep thinking and you will have no one to cry to; Ultimately life teaches everyone different lessons as per their destiny The lesson happens again and again till its crystal clear embedded in your mind after a lot of agony; Listen to it that is your purpose and you have no escape from it Run and hide but it will find you till your soul goes for it.


Some friendships that need to put full stops For putting me at a spot where evilness hops; I start a cheerful day expecting to win But always someone reminds me of my old sin; It is the old wounds that are unhealed and fresh People keep rubbing them till my heart is oppressed; Too sensitive I withdraw inside my shell Either I pretend I am not hurt or I make sure I rebel; I block all my old ties I shun they smear They taunt me and bring back my despair; They say I am a loser and will sink more to the low They say someone will be better than me till the end of life’s show; Each time I bounce back and manage a feat They bring back sad memories and push me to defeat; When I share my happiness and gleefully smile They shrug it off as nothing and open my sadness file; They say they are my friends and well meaning folks Yet they never celebrate my success, my defeat gives them happiness in truck loads; They don’t wish me birthdays/ luck/wellness or reply to my texts Yet want me to endure being ignored/ envied, like doormat till ego inflates to their chests; Once when I declare I have had enough and will endure no more pain They complain behind me to each other that I am the reason for their disdain; They point fingers at me tell me I m so lame And that I mean nothing and it’s such a shame; I shout out I am something and I deserve better I finally part with them with my last letter; Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves- if so where did I falter? Why am I always used and left at the alter; Maybe it was only friendship one side What the truth is who will decide? It was too suffocating to be so much in touch Maybe my expectations were little too much; While I recollect good memories and forget the bad ones They would still sulk at memories and hold on to bad ones; So many relationships spoiled and damaged due to ego games Still people forget the goodness and remember their enemy names; There is so much evil in heart of the ones who hold on to hate No matter even if you go back to mend they will never open their heart’s gate; They will never know what they did wrong and will put you in the blame So bending backwards for them would really be so lame !

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