New Release by Shashi Tharoor

Find the inner lying cause of all your troubles

You are what bothers you. You are your worry! You spend so much time in correcting yourselves since childhood that you are naturally inclined to focus on problem areas and find problem areas. So much so that most of your thoughts during the day are a compilation of issues rather than events. You keep saying things like : I don't want to fail etc. The universe keeps hearing it as : I want to fail. There was a girl lets call her Rushika. She was disciplined, studious, performed all her duties well. But she did not have many friends. In fact most people did not like her vibe. She calls herself an introvert. But what if I tell you there is no such thing as introvert and extrovert? It is all situational. In some situations we are introverts, in some we are extroverts. Now lets focus on Rushika; what put me off about her attitude was that she was too self critical. She defined herself in the most negative manner and it therefore reflected in all her interactions. She called herself all negative things like : I am ugly, I can't speak publicly, I am creating mistakes at work etc. All the time I had to assure her that is not the case and things are not as bad. But I could sense how inferior she felt. It is a school girl syndrome as I call it. It means that those girls who are ignored in school remain that ignored person for the rest of their life no matter what they do. So whether you are working out, dressing up, learning any activity, working in office; you are constantly seeking approval and want to get that attention you saw those popular girls get. You fail to understand that life moves on and different stages of your life require a different version of you. Like in school people generally paid attention to those who are pompous, beautiful, successful,who carry a certain 'áttitude'; but in your 30s people appreciate those who are understanding, appreciative of them, mature, loving and selfless. Since she could not change her mindset, she could not find a boyfriend, best friend or a husband. She started loathing men and hating them. She was still attracted to superfluous qualities of people whom she hardly knew and did not appreciate those who were there in her life. This is also because she was a late bloomer and she missed out on most fun things that were to be done in school and college. This happens to most of you. You get stuck up at that time in life you did not have when you wanted it. There is nothing wrong in that because you all are living our life in different time zones. But problem is when you start getting negative about the things that you did not get. You start comparing your life to others, you criticize your friends for doing things you are afraid of or having things you don't have, you ensure that people with you feel inferior to you. You get jealous when your friends are being happy or enjoying their life. This is wrong. A person with positive mindset will be positively competitive but also happy for others. If you have right mindset, you will try to know yourself and find what really connects with you. At the same time you will find it easy to appreciate, be there, encourage others without any ill feeling in your heart. Because you will be mature enough to know that appreciating others, complementing them, wishing good for them does not take away anything good from you. This is the gist of a right mindset. Once you develop the right mindset you will see opportunity in every adversity and will continue to be happy regardless of the situation and as we all know happiness is infectious. You will live stress free and will start experiencing life differently. Always have right mindset and purpose behind your every action. Right mindset will help you push through worst times and also with right mindset you will be able to enjoy every minute of your good time as a wonderful memory. But if you are jealous at your heart and build hatred towards things you don't have, those things will further run away from you.

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