New Release by Shashi Tharoor

Never spend time with small vision people

I write this post for advantage of young adults and teenagers. Your teens are your most impressionable years. You would most likely try to be liked and looked up to. And how you think about yourself will be majorly dictated by kind of people that surround you. Toxic friend circle will start limiting you with their opinions and criticisms as soon as they find you better than them. Before you realize this you would be failing a lot of times and finally get rid of them. This post is to avoid you from stooping low and thinking small or limiting yourself only because someone else does not believe in you. Even as young adult as you risk experiences, expand your horizons, learn new skills, you would likely have many ideas but you need to filter whom you share your ideas, fears, failures and achievements with. People who are risk averse would discourage you due to their own fears or limitations. People who don't have a vision will mock you when you decide to change your field or try something new as they will be happily comfortable to be forever in their comfort zone and with slow progress. Chances are you will not be able to explore your full potential as these kind of people and their comments or disapproval will hurt you thus making you doubt whether you would ever be able to make it. It is okay to be alone than being with the wrong. Always remember this. Also you would definitely be wanting to utilize more time towards your goals and dreams. You need to understand when to distance yourself otherwise you will wait till the damage is done. Because it is more often that during your struggling phase you encounter wrong kind of toxic people. Even if you have positive mindset during your hard times, there are many who will not be able to digest your positivism and wonder where you are getting strength from. Detoxifying is something I keep writing but only because I know that most of us are not able to reach our full potential because we are surrounded by wrong people. Here are the few behavior traits wrong kind of people display and you need to pick up the cue: They have never taken any risk or never tried anything new in their life: Such kind of people will be secretly envious of you, they would want to do all that you are doing but will lack courage. Hence they will start criticizing things you do or even if they seem supportive, they will be jealous from within and make you feel inferior when your efforts do not yield immediate results so that they feel better about sticking to their comfort zone. Will never appreciate you or find it very difficult to say anything good to you: I had one such friend. She always said negative things about me in name of feedback about the business I started but I understood this very late that she could not do anything much about her career as she was stuck up in the same company for years as she had housing loan emi to pay. Whenever I posted anything, she would hardly appreciate, she never even bought one thing from my store and finally when I would up the business, she was the happiest. In fact she started bragging about her office meetings and how busy she was working to fulfill someone else's dreams. Start feeling superior after a salary hike: Salaries grow very slow. A little more salary, or working a couple of years more as an employee than others does not make you the ceo. Besides there are other factors like assets, bank balance, funds, investment decisions, immediate responsibilities, spending habits etc that determine your net worth. So never encourage this immaturity in your life. If a person can think so small,basically this means there are a lot more lessons that are left for them to learn and either they will take a decade to reach the maturity that you have or even worst stay like that forever. So do not fall for that. A friend of mine once told me " if i have 50 lacs in my bank account, why would I be your friend" so low right? This means the person is extremely superficial and immature. They will not value friendship, they will value whether they can show you off or not, generally they are dealing with their own self esteem issues and not to mention very poor communication skills; otherwise who talks like this? that too without proper knowledge and assessment. People are constantly showing off their class as they speak, pay attention. After all such a person does not know life comes with ups and downs, they do not know that their salary is not something that is ever going to make them rich, yes they might have a comfortable life forever in their comfort zone. Always are commenting on looks and criticizing you for looks all the time: Imagine! this is the only thing they can think about ! looks ! have pity on them but leave them. That girl is only going to attack your self esteem by constantly reminding you that your nose is not perfect, your tummy is round, your face cut is not good, your eyes are too small, etc. Do you need this? she will keep criticizing you till the time you finally give in and accept a low self esteem. There is no other topic this girl has literally ! there is nothing else she is passionate about. There is nothing to her character. She will remain like this till the time some situation hits her. So leave her there and you move forward. Will be reluctant to accept your growth: The more experiences you get, the more you grow and finally you are ahead of them. They used to relish laughing at you, putting you down and today you are a lot more than they can imagine. Because you explored. Understand that more often than not its not about you. It is about them lagging behind and hence it is emotionally difficult for them to accept your growth. But you keep a distance because otherwise you will suffer their ego and jealousy. No matter who the person is, how long you know them since, people come and go in life. Keep them at one hand distance. Remember the thing that these people forget: Time is the most powerful thing. Time is everything. I remember that how people used to think I am not working because I am home I am jobless and have ample time. Because I do not have designation at a company I am a loser.Today because of covid those very people are working from home. Time is the most powerful thing. Plus even personally I have learnt to value myself even more. I have learnt that I am a lot more than any designation or job title people may give or take from me. I am beautiful and smart in my own way. Most importantly I have learnt that I should never seek approval from anyone ever because if I do I subject myself to their own insecurities. I have ignored those naysayers, explored, learnt new skills and finally walked towards the kind of life I always wanted. Whenever you feel the need to 'prove a point' to anyone, that someone controls you for that time. So let go of that person. Obviously the above listed kind of personalities are never the right people for you and will not be of any use to you otherwise as well. So ignore them. Your circle of top five people you regularly interact with should consist of positive uplifting people.

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